SHOULD YOU MARY BECAUSE YOU ARE EXPECTING A BABY?

Time and time again I have attended engagement ceremonies of couples who are expecting a baby. I’m not saying it’s wrong to get engaged and start a new life with the one that you love. And to say the least, most of us are going towards that destination when we are in a relationship: In short, we want to go further and make that big step with the person we truly love and respect.
Before I digress my point is; should people get married because they are expecting a baby? I have heard stories of a guy who impregnates a girl who is just their friend, and also a story of a girl who is expecting a baby and the man responsible is her ex-boyfriend or just a friend.

When you ask them if there is love between them, the answers will surprise you. They usually say it just happened. I am not judging though, these things are happening everyday and everywhere in this world.
Culturally, when a girl is found pregnant the parents or guardians send her packing to the guy’s place. And if it happens that the girl is in school and dependent on parents then she packs her bags because she has no say. But again my questions are:
• Should you suffer for the rest of your life by being with somebody you don’t love because of one mistake?
• Should pregnancy be the new chikole or engagement ring?
I am not encouraging sex before marriage but these are the questions that pop up in my head sometimes. A good friend of mine told me a story about a guy, who impregnated a random girl he wasn’t dating, and of course didn’t love her. After some arrangements from parents they moved in together and started a family. This is very good for the child because he/she has both parents around and gets love from both parents.

Unfortunately, they stayed together for almost a year and it didn’t work out; the guy admitted that even though he loves the child but he does not love the girl. And he said he didn’t want to live a lie for the rest of his life. As I speak, the girl went to be with her parents and the guy is engaged and still supports his baby. People may hate the guy for his decision but sometimes, it is better to face the reality. Honestly, I feel sad for the lady because she might have felt used and rejected. I can imagine the pain she felt when the guy got engaged with another girl but I think she is better off knowing the truth.

I kept on thinking about this subject and I thought of hearing from someone who is well vested in these issues. I talked to Mr. Robert Mwangwiro who is a Zone Treasurer for Lilongwe Scomaf and Deputy Clerk of board, at PCM Area 25 congregation.

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Robert Mangwiro- Lilongwe SCOMAF zone treasure

He said it is a very selfish decision to get pregnant in the first place. He added that it is silly not to know one’s boundaries and later call it a mistake. He however says young people do not have to stay in the “mistake.”

Having that in mind, what would Jesus say? In the scripture he says “go and sin no more” and you can ask for forgiveness. This however, doesn’t justify the conduct nevertheless the lady and the man need to take full responsibility of the child that is coming. This does not mean that they are obliged to get married because Marriage is a life time project: It is not a try and error thing. One has to be mature for it and there is need for thorough preparation.

And also I urge young people to get married when they are ready and mature. Don’t get married because you are afraid of people. As I said marriage is a big project and needs commitment. Therefore, I urge young people to flee and live a sexually pure life till they get married to avoid confusing themselves as Robert Mwangwiro said in a chat I had with him yesterday.

We can have different views on this issue but my opinion is; take your time, think about it, get advice from elders and pray about it. If you know getting married was not on your plan then don’t get married because you are about to bring a life. But if you know it is okay and you are ready, then you can go ahead.
It is a very different case when you guys love each other and you’re willing to marry. All you have to do is follow proper procedures and involve God almighty. I have never been married nor pregnant but if that happened to me, I would discuss it with my boyfriend if we are ready to get married.

SOONER OR LATER

It may not be today but sooner or later it is going to work out for your good. Patience is a song that most people try so hard to sing but fail. The only thing people don’t know is that there is a beauty in being patient, even though it’s not everyone who can endure patience but there is a beauty in it.
I will take you to a place called bible, in this place there are so many people who practiced patience and things worked out for them. We are talking about people like Jacob. Jacob worked seven years just to get a woman he really loved. Folks, we are talking about 7 years here, working tirelessly just to have something of your heart desire. The unfortunate thing about the story of Jacob was that even though he worked very hard for seven years he wasn’t given what he was promised but had to work hard another seven years to get the exact thing he wanted.

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Patience is a virtue

This story is an inspiration to my life. I mean who does that? Imagine Jacob worked for seven years, got cheated on and added seven more years of work for a woman. What does this story tell you? We all want good things in life but we are not willing to fight for what we want. We are not ready endure the pain that comes on the way. We just want to have the things to come our way and accept them with a big smile; but that’s not going to happen my dear.

I believe Jacob felt pain when he started working for Laban to get his daughter as his wife, but that did not give him room to quit. He even worked hard after being disappointed and that should give you energy to work harder even though things are not working at this moment. Jacob had all the excuses to give up after being tricked for the first time; he could have quit because he worked so hard as agreed but he ended up being duped. Dear one, Jacob did not give up; he walked another mile with his whole heart because that is what he wanted in his life.
I don’t know what you are looking for in this life, I don’t care for how long you have been praying or searching for that thing. One thing that I’m sure of is that God never sleeps, nor slumbers but he is busy watching over your life. Do not stop praying and working hard because God can see you. If you have been working and praying like Jacob to get that job my friend you will get it. Teach yourself to be disciplined and learn to be patient and God will answer you.
The beauty about being patient is when you wait faithfully upon God he gives you something which is very genuine and it’s only you who has it. When you wait upon God, he teaches you to take care of the thing given to you because it’s permanent. When you wait upon God he gives you an authority to be an inspiration to other people. When you wait upon God trust me, your blessings become a blessing to so many people.
When Jacob got Rachael as his wife after waiting for a long time, God blessed them with two sons; Joseph and Benjamin. And we all know the story of joseph and how he was a blessing to many people.

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A walk of faith is all you need

You may want it now but just be patient because sooner or later you’re going to have it. Sooner or later you are going to be speechless, sooner or later that job you really want is going come on your way, that child you have been trusting God for is coming on your way. What you have to do now is continue being in God’s presence, read his word each and every day, meditate on his word, be faithful to God and he will take your shame away. If you don’t know where to start just confess your sins wherever you are and allow Jesus to be your master and trust me he will teach you to be patient. It might not be today nor tomorrow but trust me sooner or later my God will give you what you have been looking for.