Category: Relationship

I literary don’t understand how time flies sometimes. Yesterday, marked 17 years since we buried my dad and it feels like just yesterday. I was so little when I experienced my father’s death but I remember everything that happened on that day. I will always praise God for his life and for giving me the best dad every child can dream of having.

I can talk about my dad the whole day and tell you stories especially the moments we shared. One thing I will never forget about my father, was the strong friendship I had with him. I was the only daughter in the family and was so close to my dad. I remember when I was at nursery school, my dad used to escort me on his bicycle and every lunch hour, he would come and get me. I remember that he was never late: because when I was done with classes, I would find him outside, on his bicycle, waiting for me.

There was a day, when we spent time at his shop and he told me that if we manage to make more money, we will be able to purchase a doll for me to play with. After the sales of that day, my dad bought me a big doll. I was so excited that I ran to my mother at home, and showed her what my father had done. I explained to my mother that we made more sales that day, and consequently, dad bought me a big doll.

My mother was so happy when she looked at me and said; “Wow! You have got what you have been looking for.”
Afterwards she went straight to my father and she told him it was not right to spend money on things like dolls. The conversation went on but I was busy with my new doll. Every time I think of this story, I shed tears sometimes but at the same, I smile. The smile comes as I feel the love my father had for me. Let me take this time to tell you that you have to show respect to your father, whether you’re close to him or not.
Let’s fast-forward to when I started my primary school. I was so excited to start school because it meant I could wear the cool, green Jim dress and white blouse. I remember on the first day, I went to school with my mother and father. That day my dad told me that he would not come to get me after knocking off.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you are now 5 years of old and you will find new friends who will be coming home with you,” he said.
I opposed and told him to give me some time and to my surprise, my dad accepted. However gave me a condition that the deal would work if I scooped the first position in my class.
Everyday my dad picked me from school and we went straight to his shop. So he would work on his shop while I would be busy solving mathematics and practicing my spellings. I got used to the routine and this made me do very well in my class. This went on for more than a month; I guess we surpassed our deal. However, at some point, he stopped coming to pick me up and I started going home with my friends.
At the end of the first term, I was in the top ten and my dad told me he appreciated my effort. He also reminded me to keep my promise and strive for position one in the second term. So I worked hard and I maintained the first position to Standard 3.
There came a time when the teacher would ask; “Who is number 1?”
“Faith Kaunde,” all pupils would answer.
My dad would shower me with presents and my mother would boast about me among her friends. As I said, I have so many moments I can share with you even though I was so young the time when I lost him.

There was this other day after school as usual, I went to my father’s shop. He told me that he would be happy if I would become a journalist when I grow up. He said he would be glad if I spoke on the radio like; Alice Khoza, Eunice Chipangula and Eliza Kachali. I never understood him but I started loving the radio and it became part of me. This is why I didn’t struggle to choose what I wanted to study at the university but went straight to study Journalism. Every time I’m on the radio, it is a dream come true for me because I know my father is smiling and I will forever be grateful for that.
The pain never goes away but with time, I learnt to accept that my father, who was always on my side, is gone but he lives in my memories. What hurts the most, is knowing that he was around when I him on the photos. All in all, my father lived and I am part of his legacy. Sometimes, I wish I can just say hello and tell him how I am. I wish to tell him that my mother also died eight months after he died: but I know that is not possible.
As a seven-year-old I was so confused but I was lucky that I was surrounded with a strong woman, my mother, who could always tell me that we are going to be okay.
One thing I know is, death is real and people are dying each and every day. I made a choice to celebrate the life of my father and told myself to cry no more. I chose to call him my hero. At the age of 33, my father had his own business and had a house of his own. This makes me to work extra hard every day as he did, and I will always be grateful to God, for giving me a daddy who was my best friend and my guardian angel.
I know it’s not easy to let go of the pain that comes from the loss of a loved one but you need to pray for God to strengthen you. You may have many questions but my God is always there to comfort you when you are in pain. Sometimes you can feel like crying but always ask God to be your shoulder because he is the best comforter.

Today, I am happy that I can celebrate the life of my father after 17 years. If I had a chance to tell him, I would say; “I love you and thanks for the good memories. It’s a reflection that you once lived on this earth and you left a mark in my heart that keeps me going.”
I would not forget to repeat these words to him; “I adore you.”

I can’t believe its five years already down the line since Malawians voted for the current president. 21st May, 2014 is the year I first ever voted in my life as my age was eligible to go and exercise my rights as an 18-year-old. I remember I was so excited to exercise my right as a true Citizen of Malawi. It felt good to be part of the team of choosing a leader who would take us to the next five years.

Everyone in Malawi knows that tomorrow 21st may 2018 is the day we go to the polls and vote for Councilors, Members of Parliament (MPs) and most important the president of Malawi.
I really wished I exercised my right again this time for the second time but unfortunately I am not voting this time because the period I was supposed to register I lost my identity card and the process of getting it back took so many steps such that the time I got it back the registration was over in my city. That did not stop me from participating, I just made sure convinced 10 of my friends who had registered but did not care whether to vote or not, to go to and vote for the right candidate and I will be so glad to see them go and exercise their rights.

If you have not registered also because of different reasons make sure tonight you encourage somebody to go and vote wisely please.
There will be nothing important tomorrow than walking up to the polling station to vote. This chance comes once in five years. We all have to actively participate in determining the future of our nation.
If you don’t care about voting, then I assume that you are one of those people who don’t complain about the political leadership governing the Nation. When you vote you have a say and you can demand more or better from the political leaders.
Bad leaders are put in office by eligible voters who choose either not to register to vote or indeed register but abstain from voting. In the end the same eligible voters who do not cast their voters are the first to complain when there is poor service.
As everybody is anticipating about tomorrow and you are still thinking on whether to go vote, I encourage you that you please go and exercise your rights and vote for the right candidate. To all my fellow young people, remember the future is today and is in our hands right now and this moment and remember to make the right decision today.
Let us not let other people make decisions on our behalf while we sit down and watch, let us use this opportunity and exercise our right tomorrow. We are the generation that can make an impact for tomorrow. By Thursday this week, we are going to have a picture of who has made it and who has missed the bus.

As a young person and also a citizen of Malawi I believe that we can all change this country if we stand together and participate fully to the development of this country. Therefore, let us take this election seriously, and one more thing if you are choosing a leader for the sake of tribe whilst you know that he is not going to help the country you are wasting your time and energy for the next five years. Let’s not waste time tomorrow rather grab the opportunity once and for all and vote for the right candidate and together we hope for better tomorrow. Have a lovely night and all the best as you choose wisely tomorrow.

Every morning I take a bus when going to work from where I stay in area 36 to townhall (Lilongwe) where our offices are. Like any other busy mornings, minding my own business after dropping off from the bus depot I heard a conversation of some two young ladies talking about their plan for the weekend. I was so interested in their conversation to the point that I commented.

The other girl was telling her friend how they are going to spend the weekend since it’s a long weekend. They agreed that they will go to Mulanje and visit Mulanje Mountain and see the beauty of the natural wonder.

I was so curious about this trip and asked if this trip was part of Easter celebration or just a hangout. To my surprise, they too seemed surprised that I posed that question and one of them replied with a gloomy face and said: “Girl you need to wake up this is one of the most important weeks in a year in which we have a long weekend and you need to utilize it. Thanks to the Government for allowing our country to take part in this holiday because it really means a lot to us.”  I was like yoooo! People are so thankful for the Easter holiday just for the getaway.

Anyways, the girls went their way and I too went ahead with my journey to the office and then the whole conversation with the girls got me thinking of the fact that they even thanked Government for the holiday and I remembered that this holiday we are talking about is Easter holiday which is well known as long weekend. Then, when I got to the office I started thinking about the whole holiday on my part.  Those two girls were so excited to have a long weekend for them to relax and they even thanked the Government for allowing them to be on a national holiday though I also entertained myself with plans for the holiday. Something hit me hard and I asked myself why this long weekend around the world? And also why the Easter celebration? I had to go back to the whole meaning of this celebration.

This is neither my first celebration nor the end; I have had Easter celebrations over the years. I have gone to retreats, gone to church, gone to different shows but what does the celebration really mean to me.

As part of the Easter celebration, so many churches organized prayer gatherings0. Not only that, Assemblies of God (Glorious Temple) organized an Easter convention which took place for three days from Friday to Sunday. On Saturday night they had a concert on which I attended and I loved every moment of it.

The event was supposed to start at 6pm but it ended up starting at 6:30pm which was just okay with me because I was late and I never wanted to miss out the best moments of the event. My best friend was among the guest artists performing at the concert, Esther Chitheka lewis.

Esther is one of the best worship artists I know am not just saying this because she is my best friend and we stay together but she has the talent. If you think am lying you can watch or listen to Zathu band songs and you will appreciate the talent.

Enough of my best friend, Shamma vocals was also among the artists performing and we really had a good time because I enjoyed his performance especially his famous song Zoë. The concert was supposed to end at 9:00pm but ended up at 9:30pm which was okay because we really had a good time and got home at 10:00pm where we started cooking right away and after that, I went to bed. The next morning woke up early to continue my Easter celebration, Easter Sunday. I was so excited because one of my closest friends who is just like my baby sis was at our house that made the three of us, Jacqueline my baby sis, my best friend Esther and me.

So we all went to church and the service was just great as the pastor took us to Mathew 24 and he ended up telling us we should be victorious in whatever we do because our Lord savior has risen and he is Alive.

I had fun during the long weekend and have really learned a lot, especially that Christ is alive and am a free person this really means a lot to me. I hope you also had a great weekend. What was the most amazing thing that made you happy this holiday? I wish you all the best as we continue our journeys in life. Remember Christ is Alive.

I was raised up with an amazing family though not birth parents. I joined the family when I was  8 years old and I was the older child among thhe two kids they had at that time, and that made me feel like the first born in the family.

As time went, the family was blessed with two more girls which meant there were five of us at the time; two boys and three girls. Since the time I joined the family, I have never seen my foster dad (who is my uncle) speaking to my foster mother (who is my aunt and a sister to my biological father) in a rude way. It has always been a loving family and I have always learned a lot from them.

My father has always told us to begin and end the day with prayer, all because our lives belong to Jesus Christ’s. This meant that we were not supposed to watch any channel in the morning apart from God Channel or any Christian channel and before we go to bed we had to gather as a family, pray and encouraged each other spiritually. In short, that’s how I have lived my life as a child before I started staying on my own two years ago.

And then there was another life apart from home; it was another home or school if you like. I spent most of my times at school, this was another new environment where I met different people who had different stories. The people I met became friends and some became family.

I had so many friends and we connected differently and we became good buddies. But one thing that I have realized is that most of my close friends were coming from broken families. One of my friends told me once how she wished to have a family like mine and explained how her parents got divorced. She said it started with rumors that his father had a girlfriend who was her age mate.

She never liked to talk about the story because she said it’s embarrassing and she felt like her parents didn’t love her and her siblings. Hannah, not her real name, continued to tell me that every time she looks at her father, she feels like her mother did not get the respect she needed; for that reason, she does not like men. She even said, at the time, that time she will not get married to avoid that. I knew and believed that this was so because she was very angry about what her parents’ divorce. Hannah thought that her parents never considered them in making their decisions or that they lost interest in her.

Most of my friends, who have been raised with a single parent, have similar issues they struggle with. One of the issues they struggle with is low self-esteem and not feeling loved by society. Divorce introduces a sudden change into the life of a boy and a girl no matter what age. Witnessing loss of love between parents, having parents break their marriage commitments, adjusting to going back and forth between two different households, and dealing with the daily absence of one parent;  create a challenge in how one lives. In the personal history of the boy and a girl, a parental divorce is a watershed event. The life that follows is significantly changed from how life was before.

I am lucky I had a chat with Pastor Sunganani Manjolo of KICC church who experienced the effects of divorce at a young age. He told me that when he heard the news from his parents it was very devastated and traumatizing because it was something he did not expect. The time his parents got divorced, he was just 17 and his elder sister was a year older than him and he also had a younger sister.

Pastor Manjolo expressed that children or young people react differently to the matter because of different personalities. According to him, by the time he experienced that, he was a well behaved young man but still, it was hard for him to get over it and he had mixed emotions. His elder sister, on the other hand, was just minding her own business and his younger sister just hid into her shell and did her homework.

To some young people, it affects the way they relate with people because they feel like trust has been broken and it is very devastating. Pastor Manjolo added that, for him to get through it he had to find a mentor to walk him through the situation and it was so hard because at some point, his mentor was telling him that his parents may not get back together and that wasn’t good news.

Later he started focusing on his life more and while growing up he really wanted to study more about divorce and related issues. This made him work hard, do some research so that it should not happen to him. He also shared with me the effects most young people face after divorce. He said most of the young people engage in drug and substance abuse to get away from the situation and they end up messing their lives. He also added that most of the children suffer from depression which makes the young people lose focus and their minds are triggered with negative thoughts like, committing suicide which is very risky to a young person. Pastor Manjolo said he has been there (the divorce experience) and he knows very well what he is talking about.

It has been a long journey and now he is a pastor and has a beautiful family and urges young people who are going through the process of divorce to be strong and focus also on their life. If it is possible, find a mentor so that you can find someone to talk to when you feel depressed.

I was really inspired by Pastor Sunganani Manjolo’s experience and thought of sharing with you.

I have never experienced divorce myself and I cannot explain how it feels to see your parents living separate lives but what I can say is; it is not the end of the world. It can take time to admit that is happening but also try as much as possible to focus on life. As Pastor Manjolo has said, find mature people who you can talk to. Do not forget to look up to God and ask for wisdom and remember he has good plans for your life, according to Jeremiah 29:11.

Thank you so much for taking your time, feel free to comment or share your experience because it can change somebody life. Have a lovely week.

 

 

 

 

 

Life has never been sweet and I feel blessed being 24 now. On the 10th February, I turned 24 and it felt and still feels good. When I was 12, I wanted to be 16 so that I should be in form 4 and have a boyfriend. What a joke! When I was a 16, I wanted to be 21 so that I should be a graduate and start working.
Everyone wants to be somewhere at some particular time and they are called wishes. One thing that has stood out for me throughout my journey, is knowing that; whatever happens in life it’s always for our good.

We might not see it now but at some point you will find out that it was for your good.
As for me, since I was young, I have always wanted to be 24 because this is the age I thought I will get married and live with my husband in our happily ever after. You may think it’s a joke but that was my dream. I also thought by this time, I will be working at a big company, with a company car and a company house; and my degree would be that icing on the cake. I know you can laugh the whole day about the things that I thought I would have at the age of 24.

Even though I haven’t achieved some of the things that I thought I would have accomplished at this age, I am surprised at the things that I have accomplished at the age of 24. I mean I am 24 yes, single not married off course hahahahahaah (you can laugh too) but I have never been so happy in my life; the way I feel this moment is amazing. I don’t have a degree yet, as I have always desired, but I have a good job that I love and I am so passionate about it.

I have my own home, run my business and I am still learning. In short, I feel like that’s one of the things that makes me happy. When you have your own thing, you wouldn’t want it to die as a result you work hard towards it. At the end, when the outcome is your work is good fruits, it motivates your life to do better.
When you are motivated that’s when you are a happy person and that’s what I am talking about. Happiness is all that matters. When I say I have never been this happy understand me. That is why I celebrated my 24th birthday.

I have never ever celebrated my birthday before so my 24th was special for me. I went out for a dinner with my friends at Korean Garden. We had food, cake and the photo shoot by Manifest was on point.

However, to me, the most important thing was my friends showing up and having fun with me.
I have told myself to live fully in my 24th year like it’s my last chance on earth. I have a couple of ideas that I want to explore and make my year enjoyable:
I want to travel around Malawi as never before. I have realized that Malawi has got good views that need to be appreciated and I have told myself to travel and appreciate.
I don’t have strategy yet but I want to grow my business and work hard on it and do my best to learn from other young and big entrepreneurs

I want to grow spiritually and let my God be the centre of everything in my life. I have realized that I have ideas and plans on paper but God is the only one who can fulfill my plans.

Those are just few ideas and plans that I want to explore in my 24th year. I can assure you that I’m ready to have fun and work hard on that. I know that to others, a birthday is just like any other day and I don’t really blame them. I feel like it is a good idea to celebrate a birthday because so many people wished to come this far, but their time was over before they even achieved their dreams. If you are here with nothing or without nothing, you need to be grateful and celebrate the fact that you are alive.

I am so excited and energetic because this is my first ever 2019 article and I don’t even know the title as I am writing right now, but trust me by the time I will be finishing writing, I will figure it out. Each and every year, before the year begins my plans and goals for the year ahead are always set by the time we reach 1st January. I can show you my old hardcover which is full of my goals I have had since primary school up to last year.
I am one of the people who can tell you that I am living in my dreams which I wrote six or five years ago. That time I was just a little girl but I am testifying at 24 years of age. Let me be plain and say that there is power in putting to paper everything you want in your life. Every time you see that vision on your paper it will give you energy and work towards it every time. Some people like to play it simple by just having the vision in their heads, but trust me you can easily forget and change your mind. WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS ON PAPER and run with that vision. Even the bible says it in Habakkuk 2:2 that is how it works.

Write your dreams down and never be afraid if they sound stupid or grandiose.

Some of my goals I had last year were put on paper and now it’s not a dream anyomore. I’m proud to say it’s my lifestyle now. I had 10 goals that I was so passionate about and I can confidently say I achieved 92% of everything I planned. One of my goals was to start blogging; I had to gather my content, plan for a photo shoot, read about other bloggers, discover how to publicize my blog, figure out where I was going to get inspiration and so on. In short, I had so many things to research on for me to accomplish that one goal and yes in the end, I won and I am now a blogger and you’re reading my articles.

The reason I gave you my example on my blog is because I wanted to give you a picture on how things go. We all have a paper and a pen ready for our use, and we have better ideas on how to perfect our lives and get what we want. The only problem is we both don’t know how to get it. In other words you have no strategy. For example if, in this year, you want to change a certain behavior you don’t like; you need a strong decision and a strategy.

First of all, identify the problem and find ways on how to deal with that habit and the best way is to be disciplined. Discipline is another topic on its own and very important when you want to achieve your goals. It does not matter what type of dreams and goals you have set you just have to learn how to discipline yourself.

If you want to lose weight you need to watch what you eat because if you continue your daily routine, my friend that’s a dead goal and it can’t be achieved. When you want something new in your life, you need to get rid of other things to let new things develop in your life.

The funny thing is that most people are okay in their comfort zones. They are either not ready or they are afraid to change. One thing you need to know is that change happens and you need to understand and adapt the change.
I know the year is still young and most of us are still eager to make a change in our lives. So do it, go for it and make a difference in your life and your society once for all. As for me, I will sit down after work and figure out what to do this year. If you haven’t yet set goals for this year you are not alone, I am there with you but at least I have ideas on what I want this year. What I know is; I want to take a risk this year and I also want to travel Malawi like never before.
Folks, we all need and want a good life and it’s always a good feeling when you dream but mostly it is an amazing feeling when you achieve and live a good life. Don’t lose heart on your dream and please put it on paper and run with it every day. Have a blessed weekend.